Long overdue update

Strange how when you encounter an old friend, you aren't sure where to start. Do you tell them about how school is going? Do you explain the ins and outs of dating various people? Do you rant about your anxiety surrounding your music, your dreams, your shoe collection and your finances? Most likely, you just crack a few light jokes and exchange witty remarks until the conversation finds itself. Eventually the most relevant topic will find it's way up to the surface, shimmying through the stops and pulls of uncertainty.
My friends are having babies. My friends are getting married. My friends are working as lawyers and chiropractors. My friends are getting dogs. My friends are successfully caring for houseplants.
This makes me throw my hands up in the air and think...how am I doing as an adult so far? I'm still in school. I'm working as a tutor. I'm living in my own place. I sometimes remember to do the dishes. I neglect my vacuum cleaner. It's these moments of evaluation and re-evaluation that reminds me that we are all on different paths. Talking to a friend at a party made me think about this whole having babies thing. I always felt bad that I never wanted my own baby. I have never once thought it would be fun to be pregnant. I'm really good at caring for babies that already exist but I've never thought it would be a wildly great idea to have one of my own forever and ever. He got divorced because he did not want to have a baby and his wife at the time did. His reasoning was that our global framework was falling apart and that he didn't want to bring a child into this world. I can't imagine how she must have felt if she had this mysterious urge to have a child that I hear about. Knowing that my body could bring forth life fills me with pride and dread. I don't want that power. I wonder why he told me about this, staring at me intently. I noticed that the top of his left ear was slightly square, that he had a pair of small moles on his neck. I wondered what he looked like as a baby.
There's never really any denoument to my musings. I wish I came to conclusions more often but I'm often left with question marks and the feeling that I've said what I need to say without necessarily getting anywhere.